Three Reflections
The older I get, the more I realize that there are different ways that I look at things, sometimes incongruent with the others, and sometimes going on simultaneously, giving life a rather schizophrenic feel. Of course, I have developed a particular favortism for some of these perspectives and have been attempting to see the world through the eyes of the more positive perspectives as the evidence is piling up that these vantage points direct me toward the things I truly want.
So I guess it stands to reason that as these favorable qualities become apparent in my more positive outlooks, the disadvantageous qualities of my more negative views also come to the fore and make it clear that when I am seeing the world through those eyes, nothing in my landscape is holding the things that I want. But it has taken me years to realize this, because what I never knew was that there are two parts to every subject–the subject itself, and the lack of it; and for many years I would look out from my negative point of view and think that I was seeing all of the things I dreamed of (albeit usually far off and frustratingly elusive), but what I was actually seeing was the lack of them. The amazing thing is that once I realized this, I really expected my whole psyche to transform and for my positive vantage points to take over and drive the vehicle, so to speak; but alas, I am the one still calling the shots and unfortunately, I am a creature of habit, and when it comes to my thinking, I have some really bad habits.
Not too long ago I came across the line of thought that we all create our own reality–literally, everything that comes into and out of our lives is either invited or let go of by us by our thoughts. My initial response to this theory was incredulity; afterall, if this were true, wouldn’t we all have exactly what we want, all of the time? But considering it further and attempting to put some of the philosophy into practice, I am realizing my huge miscalculation–I was assuming that the average person, like me, had a commanding relationship with their thoughts and could, with a mere decision, turn the ship around and never look back. I don’t know what it says about me that finding the level of difficulty in directing your own thoughts to be monumental makes me put more stake in the theory itself (perhaps a habitual belief that anything worth it must be hard?) but it certainly explains why everyone is not running around with everything they ever wanted–as a man thinketh, so is he…
So upon reflection, my initial thought that if this were true then ‘why isn’t everyone running around with everything they could ever want within their grasp’ has now transformed after my firsthand experience with trying to direct my own thoughts only toward those things that I deem positive and good and a fulfillment of my dreams. And I intend to put this to the test–if for no other reason than that I want to be thinking my thoughts, not having them think me; the tyranny of the urgent dictating your thought life leads to a very frantic and unfulfilling life experience and that’s not what I choose…see? I’m already beginning and on my way, and all because of a little reflection on my part…I want to reach for the better thought, not the most familiar or handy or acceptable. I think the painting above is how I would like to see my operation–me, myself, and I, all in the same boat, going the same direction, trusting life and trusting the current beneath us…in a word, peace.
life is one big perception, seen differently from every direction. i have read your blogs and i find them deep but refreshing, just like a big pool of water……
in your painting above, my perception is that your ‘me, myself and i” reflections are pulled from your child hood teachings (on the left), your mid years (on the right), and your person now ( in the middle). The person in the middle, being you today, holding to the two on either side tightly and pulling from their strengths and weakness builds who you are today.
your paintings are very inspitational.
Thank you for your comment Deb!–and I like the way you see my painting very much; it made me see it from a new angle as well and that’s what I love about art (be it in movies, paintings, books)–everytime you look at it, you see something new, from your new vantage point, that you could not have seen before. Thanks for reading!