con⋅gen⋅ial –adjective
1. agreeable, suitable, or pleasing in nature or character.
2. suited or adapted in spirit, feeling, temper, etc.; compatible.
“When you realize how perfect
everything is…you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” Buddha
When I hear the term ‘Miss Congeniality’, I always think of beauty pageants. Typically, most girls that are so inclined to enter a pageant of that sort are not after this prize, because clearly, the one who gets it was the one who either never achieved the level of disharmonious competition needed to win, or was on some plane that rose above it and was able to maintain her regular good-nature and perspective.
Life can be like a pageant sometimes; it can imply that there is a prize to be captured, a standard to be judged by, or a competition to be won. Not being competitive by nature, I have always shrunk back from life when it presented itself to me in this way, and declined to participate when the spotlight felt too hot and the judging too severe. Some people like to be judged, I guess; it brings out the champion that displays the best in them–but it simply makes me want to quit. Coming into my middle-age, I’ve learned to accept this about myself instead of being so displeased that I was not made differently, but an odd thing has happened in the last year that has taken it past simply acceptance…I’ve found a way to perceive the world that takes me out of the hot lights and off the stage of the pageant competition and into my own little universe where I don’t need to compete with anyone, because there is no need.
“To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have found that when I look for the best, I find it. When I’m kind, to myself or to others, I get kindness back. When I expect good things to happen on a consistent basis, generally good things happen. When I gravitate toward what makes my heart sing–like watching the sun rise or set, painting, reading a really fantastic piece of writing, or watching someone I love do something they love–then the world becomes a warm, wonderful, fulfilling place. If I tell myself that there is not enough for everyone–whether it be happiness, well-being, money, resources, whatever–then I start to see lack in my life; everywhere I look, there is not enough and I feel scared, anxious and not supported. Can it be that the world is simply what we perceive it to be? Can it be that we are all our own little universes that are completely self-fulfilling and self-reflecting? It’s taken me nearly 45 years, but I’m beginning to see evidence of it–it’s taken me that long because, well, I was reflecting back to myself everything that I thought and I was pretty consistent with my perception for a very long time.
In my best moments, the world is my
playground–a verdant oasis of life and opportunity, donning me with bouquets of kindness and joy, supplying all my needs for now…for this moment.
For awhile, I struggled with the ‘truth’ of this. And then one day it hit me–if, by virtue of how I’m seeing the world in this moment, the world reflects this wonderful vision back to me, what do I care if it’s ‘accurate’? What do I care if anyone agrees with me? I don’t–all I want is to see how soon I can generate that vision again, and then again…and then again. Because really, can you win a better prize than to see the world as agreeable, suitable and pleasing in nature? To be congenial with all things–is that not happiness itself?
“When you realize how perfect
everything is…you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” Buddha
When I hear the term ‘Miss Congeniality’, I always think of beauty pageants. Typically, most girls that are so inclined to enter a pageant of that sort are not after this prize, because clearly, the one who gets it was the one who either never achieved the level of disharmonious competition needed to win, or was on some plane that rose above it and was able to maintain her regular good-nature and perspective.
Life can be like a pageant sometimes; it can imply that there is a prize to be captured, a standard to be judged by, or a competition to be won. Not being competitive by nature, I have always shrunk back from life when it presented itself to me in this way, and declined to participate when the spotlight felt too hot and the judging too severe. Some people like to be judged, I guess; it brings out the champion that displays the best in them–but it simply makes me want to quit. Coming into my middle-age, I’ve learned to accept this about myself instead of being so displeased that I was not made differently, but an odd thing has happened in the last year that has taken it past simply acceptance…I’ve found a way to perceive the world that takes me out of the hot lights and off the stage of the pageant competition and into my own little universe where I don’t need to compete with anyone, because there is no need.
“To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have found that when I look for the best, I find it. When I’m kind, to myself or to others, I get kindness back. When I expect good things to happen on a consistent basis, generally good things happen. When I gravitate toward what makes my heart sing–like watching the sun rise or set, painting, reading a really fantastic piece of writing, or watching someone I love do something they love–then the world becomes a warm, wonderful, fulfilling place. If I tell myself that there is not enough for everyone–whether it be happiness, well-being, money, resources, whatever–then I start to see lack in my life; everywhere I look, there is not enough and I feel scared, anxious and not supported. Can it be that the world is simply what we perceive it to be? Can it be that we are all our own little universes that are completely self-fulfilling and self-reflecting? It’s taken me nearly 45 years, but I’m beginning to see evidence of it–it’s taken me that long because, well, I was reflecting back to myself everything that I thought and I was pretty consistent with my perception for a very long time.
In my best moments, the world is my
playground–a verdant oasis of life and opportunity, donning me with bouquets of kindness and joy, supplying all my needs for now…for this moment.
For awhile, I struggled with the ‘truth’ of this. And then one day it hit me–if, by virtue of how I’m seeing the world in this moment, the world reflects this wonderful vision back to me, what do I care if it’s ‘accurate’? What do I care if anyone agrees with me? I don’t–all I want is to see how soon I can generate that vision again, and then again…and then again. Because really, can you win a better prize than to see the world as agreeable, suitable and pleasing in nature? To be congenial with all things–is that not happiness itself?
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